Another great semi-parody from BBSpot (the Onion of geekdom): Valve to Focus Exclusively on [Economic] Elite Gamers:

If you are one of the millions of gamers who still can't run the new "Lost Coast" chapter for Half-Life 2, Valve has news for you: Don't get your hopes up with their future releases. From now on, the company will focus on the elite few who can afford the latest in bleeding edge hardware - and are willing to pay a premium for quality games.

In a press release, Shawn Trail explained the bold move: "The market is full of middle-of-the-road companies that cater to Joe Average and his crappy old Dell. We're in the market to make games, not to waste our time on minimum and recommended settings. Who do you think has the most fun? The engineers at Hyundai or Lamborghini? In the future, it's going to be much easier: Want to play our game? Head down to your computer pusher and buy the biggest PC he's got."

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