Hilarious Amazon Reviews

Sep 11, 2005 8:41 PM
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For real, Smith T. Aames is the probably the most consistently funny writer on the internet. His ludicrous Amazon reviews (sometimes xxx).

Representative is his take on "Seed of Chucky":

I thought that Seed of Chucky was one of the most frightening movies I have ever seen! With so many cliched horror films out today, it is so refreshing to see a a truly original and innovative movie like Seed of Chucky. This movie really delivers the chills that many other horror movies just can't.

I was so scared watching this movie that all of the following happened:
  • I hid beneath a blanket and peeked out through a corner
  • I asked my mommy to hold my hand
  • I hugged four of my seventeen dogs
  • I crapped my pants
  • I threw the crap from my pants at the thirteen dogs who would not let me hug them
  • I injected a buttload of heroin to calm my fears
I highly recommend Seed of Chucky for anyone looking to feel very very frightened. It's probably not good for kids, especially since they have worse bowel control than adults and I wasn't really able to hold everything in through the scary parts.

It's subversive and beautiful at the same time, how he's repurposed the medium, like Bronx hip-hop DJs in the late 70's.

Smith T. Aames : Amazon Reviews :: Kool DJ Herc : Turntables

It's genius, really. And piss-in-your pants funny.


Comments: Hilarious Amazon Reviews

Some of those are great (read his auto-fellatio book review). It's also interesting that he finds such 'odd' items on Amazon.

Posted by: O'dell on September 12, 2005 2:16 PM | permalink

No more comments! Either someone has violated Godwin's Law, I'm tired of the discussion or, most likely, the ten-week window has closed. You can, however, contact me through email.