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NBA Pickup Games

May 13, 2005 2:22 PM
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For the first time in ages, I went to the local basketball courts to watch (I'm still too out of playing shape and had just eaten dinner), because the weather's nice and the NBA playoffs have me in the mood for all things b-ball.

I'd never seen, or played with, the guys on the court, but there were some archetypes present:

  • The "point guard" who tries to take it to the hole every other play
  • The guy who travels or steps out of bounds and then flips out that someone dared to call it, because he had gotten fouled and didn't bitch about it
  • The fat guy who has a killer outside shot but is otherwise useless
  • The big white guy who looks totally out of place with his well-coached D-III 6'3" PF style

And now Slate has a list of NBA players and their alphalt equivalents.


Comments: NBA Pickup Games

You forgot Fat Furrowed Browed Samoan Guy who blatantly hacks and is never called for a foul by anyone because they are afraid of getting their ass(es) kicked in by him.

Posted by: Chad Alderson on May 13, 2005 7:35 PM | permalink

How about the no-look pass guy, who throws every simple chest or bounce pass with a look-away flair? (Matty Greenberg)

Or, the guy who clearly has no jump shot but yells to himself about they can't believe that their shot is off, when everybody on the court knows that their shot is ALWAYS off?

Posted by: max on May 16, 2005 12:51 PM | permalink

Or the cherry-picker?

Posted by: max on May 16, 2005 3:50 PM | permalink

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